Monday, 3 July 2017

Things Love Island has taught me...

There I said it, and guess what? I'm not in the least bit ashamed!

If you follow me on Twitter you will most likely know (and hate me for the fact) that I tweet about Love Island ALOT.  Every single night to be precise, so many of you may have noticed my little thread I started on Twitter about Love Island recently.
This thread was all about the 'things that Love Island had taught me' and after I had a reply saying 'you should so write a blog post of these' I thought... challenge accepted! So here is a list all about things that Love Island has taught me as a 27 year old non-singleton!

1. I need to do more squats
Holy moly these girls have some fantastic buns... I can only imagine what my pale cottage cheese wobble would look like on a HD 48in screen.... heads up - not fantastic!

2. BLI (which means 'Before Love Island fyi) I knew absolutely zero dating terminology
"My type on paper", "Stick it on her", "Grafting", "That's a bit of me", "get the ick" ..... I know I haven't been single in a long while but do people really use these phrases in real life? Really?

3. Remembering the exciting career of Blazin' Squad means I'm technically reality TV 'old'
The fact that some of the islanders couldn't even remember the lyrics to Crossroads really hit me hard. Am I that ancient? I mean come on.... Flip Reverse was an absolute belter!

4. Single people need ALOT of paper
On paper... on paper.... seriously stop with the 'on paper'. (Amber this is aimed at you)

5. Microphones don't seem to leave tan lines
In all seriousness I can't even wear a razor back top without getting some ridiculous tan line, how have they not all got white belts?!

6. Bonded extensions are sadly not invisible
Girls, girls, girls, have each others backs when they are hanging out in full view, Twitter explodes everytime a bond is noticed!

7. A water bottle with my name on it is the accessory of the summer and I need one
The fact that they are actually available aswell have made all my dreams come true... I need, need, need one!
8. Islanders would rather fake tan than play in the pool?
I know that ITV don't play pool antics much because the islanders can't wear their mics in there but seriously I would be bombing, diving, lying on a unicorn float 24/7 if I was there, who cares about fake tanning when you're in Mallorca! (Also this probably answers the microphone mark mystery)

9. Whoever is in charge of the soundtrack to each episode seriously needs to be nominated for a Bafta/Oscar/Golden Globe
Nailed it. Every single episode is teamed with a bloody golden soundtrack, honestly I laugh out loud at some of the chosen tunes to accompany the on-going drama.
10. Infinity bracelets mean NOTHING 
RIP Kember.  *UPDATE* - Kember is back on!

11. ITV have WAY too many ad breaks
Can I suggest that Love Island just has ten times more product placements in the villa and gets rid of ads throughout the show all together? #winwin

12. Caroline Flack has THE best job
Flying back and forth in the sunshine AND getting to know all the juicy gossip first? Caroline girl you have the job of dreams! Although I don't know if I would be able to keep my cool as well as Caroline...
13. I am a tactical voter
Were Dom and Montana the most compatible? Hell no. Did we all want to vote for them to ensure Montana's safety? Hell yes.

14. I look very young for my age
I'm 27 and I feel like I look about 12 compared to this glamazons. I mean I know my collection of Mickey Mouse t-shirt's doesn't help but still... I wish I could glam myself up like that!

15. The Vampire Diaries was right, Nina Dobrev does have a doppelgänger..... Tyla!
Seriously though? Aren't I right!

16. I am very quick as tweeting
I've come to the conclusion that I may need to do finger exercises before and after the show... my phone is on fire from 9pm every night with me expressing my every thought and emotion!
17. Maybe I actually DO love a bit of drama
Jesus, I am LIVING for the shit-stirring, back stabbing and re-coupling! Who am I? Am I a bad person? It's not just me right?

18. "A Type"
Do you really have a type though islanders? Because you seem to just say blonde or brunette.... that isn't a 'type' of person, that's actually a hair colour!

19. Shouting TEXT when receiving a text makes it at last 74% more exciting
I did it the other day when sat with my friends and it went down a storm haha!
20. One week in Love Island time is like three years in the outside world
No really, that villa seems to be like Narnia! You're coupled up for 24 hours and then devastated if they talk to another person of the opposite sex or pissed off they won't go to the hideaway with you?! It's baffling!

21. What did I use to do at 9pm every single night?
And what are we all going to do when it's over?
22. Islanders seem to have missed the legal bit about disclosing ads....
When is someone going to tell them? If it's not okay for bloggers and influencers to get away with then why not them. p.s. I'm not buying your poo your pants tea or toothpaste, just saying.

23. I shouldn't ever go by first impressions
I disliked Kem... wtf was I thinking and thought Chris was an arrogant knob... he is hilarious. Seriously someone please get those two to Christmas #1! #rapgods
24. If you don't speak, we won't remember your name
I give you 10 seconds to remember the 6 new girls and boys that just got dumped from the island.... go!

25. Dom is actually a VERY loyal person
As much as we all thought he was a drip... you have to hand it to the boy - he did stick to his word! (Although why he didn't just leave if he had no intention of being in a new couple is beyond me!)

26. Gifs and memes make everything 50384375% funnier
Literally, using gifs to explain my Love Island feels daily makes me laugh out loud, plus the LI memes are comedy gold.
27. Everyone needs a friend like Montana

28. A courgette?
A COURGETTE... yeah, I'm still not over it.

29. Some of the challenges created by the producers are bloody gross
Yes, I felt like a prude old grandma watching that juicing/smoothie challenge. So gross.
30. So many people still smoke!
I'm always shocked as too how many people are smokers on these shows! Half of me thinks some of them only do it on there because they are so bored.

31. Friendships > Romance
How bloody awesome are the friendships this year! I love Chris & Kem's bromance and Montana and Camilla's friendship!
32. Tyne-Lexy is a legitimate name.
I was as shocked as you.

33. I get way too into TV shows.
I mean if writing a whole blog post isn't enough to prove it... just follow me on Twitter.

Right I want to know in the comments.... who are your favourite and least favourite islanders and if you could pick any boy and any girl to win who would you choose? I'd pick Montana and Kem hands down!



  1. I hate waiting all day til 9pm to come around, my life is incomplete without this show, I love Camilla, I want her to find someone, Craig isn't good for her. I'd love to be friends with Montana, I didn't like her at the start but now I love her. Marcel and gabby are so cute too, it would not surprise me if they choose love and win the show.

  2. I loved this post! I'm obsessed with love island at the moment and have no idea what I'm going to do when it's over haha. I think my favourites are gabby and marcel!

    Tiffany x

  3. This is such a great post! I know love the words 'dick sand' after Olivia said it. My faves are defo marcel and gabby x

    Everything But The Kitchen

  4. Ive never seen this before but now I am totally intrigued!


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