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Friday, 19 June 2015

100 Thoughts I Had Whilst Watching OITNB Season 3

It was a moment I had been anticipating since finishing season 2 all those moth ago - "new episodes available" - Orange Is The New Black Season THREE!
Now if you are like me you would have finished the 13 episodes already..... because that was how Netflix was intended to be watched - binge binge binged. 
It took me less than a week to watch the 13 hours or so of prison action and after a few conversations with you lot over on twitter I thought I would share with you all my thoughts throughout the season......so here is 100 things I thought whilst I was on my binge this week.
(These are not in any form of order)
SPOILERS AHEAD - obviously.

1. Damn... I forgot how long this intro is.
2. Kinda catching though isn't it? ..........THE ANIMAL, THE ANIMAL!
3. Ahhhh Lichfield I've missed you and your lesbian-action ways!
4. Okay - do I remember everyone's name?
5. Hell nope. So many Latinas.
6. I really should have watched Season 2 again before starting this.
7. Oooo pregnant girl is still pregnant, surely she'll be popping that out soon? #prisonbaby
8. Shit I wonder how Larry is.... I bet he's doing well. 
9. Bennett's back-story YES! He's shirtless and dancing lol. His pecks are strangely large.
10. So many of these inmates have kids - what seriously bad parents.
11. LET CRAZY EYES FLY HER KITE. #TeamSusan
12. Where the hell is Piper?
13. Like, is Piper not the main character anymore?
14. YES Alex F**king Vause. I'm so team Pipex.
15. FFS Nikki has gone to max. Nikki is the best. I miss Nikki.
16. An inmate literally left her baby outside a portaloo on the floor - on the floor.
17. Okay what is this Norma obsession?
18. She's pissing me off - she doesn't even speak. Maybe that's why she's in it so much so they don't have to pay so much for the actors. Non-speaking roles get less right?
19. SAY SOMETHING.
20. So many cults. No wonder they are in prison and so effed up.
21. What's with the Jew obsession this season?
22. I don't trust this grey-haired Ellen look-a-like ... she's twtichy as hell.
23. Pipex is ON. In the library, on.
24. and off again. Dammit.
25. WAIT. WHO IS THIS AUSTRALIAN ANGEL.
26. Christ she is beautiful. Are her tattoos real? Her face is literally perfect.
27. Well.... she's naked. Full on naked. Nice.
28. Piper are going you to cheat on Alex? Surely not? You wouldn't?
29. Bitch you did!
30. Haha they are making them make pants as a job.
31. Loving all the back stories, although I miss Piper & Alex being the focus I do admit.
32. Pennsatucky is just a lost little girl isn't she? 
33. Awww she's found love! I'm so happy for her - go feed the ducks! .....
34. ..... ffs he just raped her. F**k you doughnut prick.
35. LOL they are going to shove a broomstick up his ass? *crying lol emoji*
36. HOLD ON a god damn minute, Bennett really isn't coming back is he?
37. What a little pussy - how dare he! I trusted him! He made her a gum wrapper ring and everything!
38. That baby has no chance.
39. Can Healy & Red just get it on already?
40. Morello is bloody bonkers and I love her.
41. Crazy Eyes is writing a kinky book. This is hilarious.
42. omg is Crazy Eyes going to get a girlfiend?
43. OPEN the damn broom closet door!!!!
44. omg is Ellen look-a-like is here to kill Alex?! THAT WAS HER NOTEBOOK.
45. I believe you Alex!
46. Piper is staring a dirty pantie buisness - What happened to you Piper?
47. EWWWWW the fake discharge they are making with tuna - gross much?
48. This is something you should never watch with your parents. Like ever.
49. These new prison guards are just ridiculous. WHO hired them?
50. What's with this TV chef? I literally thought it was Red at first!
51. I still miss Nikki.
52. Oh shit they totally killed Christopher!
53. I never thought I would like Pennsatucky - but I do.... I think it's because of Crossroads. I love you Mimi.
54. Norma toast? Seriously?
55. I'm not sure where this season is going.
56. How many months pregnant is Daya? 11?
57. Sophia is queen.
58. Alex should so get the blue streaks back in her hair.
59. I hate Pornstache - he better not come back for season 4.
60. Piper just get a damn tattoo.
61. Oh Jesus I take it back that is the WORST.
62. I wonder what I'd be like in prison.
63. I would not last long.
64. I still can't believe how big a part Norma has had this season.
65.THE CHICKEN IS BACK!!! I miss those episodes, those were the good old days.
66. Nothing will compare to season 1.
67. The thought of bedbugs has made me itchy.
68. Christ imagine wearing that underwear - all day everyday.
69. I'm so annoyed at meth girl - why didn't you get on the first bus you saw! That was your chance!
70. They've beaten up Sophia. My heart is broken.
71. How long has Piper got left to do? Wasn't it just a year?
72. Oh but then she nearly killed Duggat.... that will get ya longer won't it!
73. She's become a bit of a knob. You're not a crime lord Piper.
74. This season is more about everyone's children. #BoreOff
75. Morello getting married haha - that girl is bat shit crazy.
76. I love the prison guard couple!
77. THEY ARE SINGING LES MIS!!! #amazeballs
78. The names of the episodes crack me up "Finger in the Dyke."
79. Caputo is a good guy.
80. Leanne is so annoying. Can't she just get released already?
81. How much stuff do people hide in prison?! So sneaky and genius!
82. DAYA HAD THE BABY!
83. Oooooo her Mum lied and said the baby died. Is it bad this makes me happy?
84. WHERE IS F*** IS BENNETT?
85. Stella stabbed Piper in the back! What a bitch.
86. Piper got her back - she is SOOOO going to the Shu. (How do you spell shoe? Shu? Shoo?)
87. " I will potato her at a future time" - Oh Susan you cray.
88. So the TV chef is clearly going to be in Season 4.
89. Do we seriously have to wait another year? I'll be 26. 26.
90. I think it every single episode but Piper is literally a blonde Katy Perry. It scares me.
91. What idiot let people take down the fence when they are all outside?
92. THEY ARE RUNNING OUT OF PRISON.
93. Do they think it's like when you're at school and the more people do it the less likely you are to be told off?
94. SHIT. THAT GUY IS IN PRISON AND HE'S AFTER ALEX.
95. WHAT HAPPENED?!
96. They are just loving life in a dirty lake? #fairenough #freedom
97. Is this seriously the ending?
98. Nothing happened this season. Literally nothing.
99. If Nikki isn't back in Season 4 I'm making a formal complaint.
100. I can't believe it's over. again.

What did you think of this season? For me, nothing will top the first season - that is incredible!
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15 comments

  1. I loved this post! And I think it's SHU - 'Security Housing Unit' or something :) xo

    Emma-Louise | Dino's Beauty Diary

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  2. Everything YES!! To it all!
    I've literally JUST finished the last episode. WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?!?!
    GAH!!!
    Gillian xx EyelinerFlicks

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  3. Haha, this did make me giggle! And I am also getting my formal complaints at the ready!

    Annabel ♥
    Mascara & Maltesers

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  4. I've just started watching this show and I'm hooked!

    Pam xo/ Pam Scalfi♥

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  5. This was cute! I adore this show, I binge watched it all in two days. I can't believe we have to wait so long for the next season now! x

    http://rememberrayneblog.blogspot.ie/

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  6. Omg the ending right? That was so not a finale!

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  7. Totally love this show & watched with my 15 yr old daughter. We are bereft now it's over but alas my son has become hooked & is only halfway through season 2 so we get to watch it all over again!!! Yay!!

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  8. I absolutely loved this post - I haven't even finished it yet and didn't even mind reading spoilers hahah!

    Beth x
    www.bethelouise.com

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  9. Literally your post was better than this season! Nothing happened!! I was so disappointed! It's like its missing 5 more episodes off the end of it!! Great post though :) xxx

    www.squidgymoments.ie

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  10. Best post EVER!!!!!!! :))
    Really what was going on with Bennett's boobs? I was so confused by that. Also how he just vanished into thin air?!

    Fee x

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  11. I loved this post, I literally agreed with everything you've said! Wish the season finale could have been a bit better...

    allthatshimmers.co.uk xo

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  12. I agree to literally everything in this post. Though I loved the ending when they were all loving life in the lake. I miss Nikki and Bennett. Where are they? Why didn't they come back at the end :(

    Kourtney | sunflowersandpumpkins.blogspot.co.uk
    xx

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  13. This is incredible. I love these posts!!!

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  14. Hahaha I loved reading this post!! I agree with so many points (about Nikki, Bennett, nothing happening etc!!)

    Emily // Beauty and Lifestyle Blog

    xx

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  15. I saw this post before I finished watching. I finished watching last night and came to find this post today! This post was great to read just as I finished, a reminder of the whole series, it was good, but I agree not as good as the first or second. I still want season 4 to start though. Ah, we have to wait til next year!!! Surely they can film faster???
    Oh, the Norma thing!!! How ridiculous!!
    Amanda.

    ReplyDelete

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